Program Development Cycle
By David Lubar
Software doesn't just appear on the shelves by magic. That program
shink-wrapped inside the box along with the indecipherable manual and
12-paragraph disclaimer notice actually came to you by way of an elaborate
path, through the most rigid quality control on the planet. Here, shared for
the first time with the general public, are the inside details of the
program development cycle.
1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department
that the other 10 aren't really bugs.
4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discovers 15 new bugs.
5. See 3.
6. See 4.
7. See 5.
8. See 6.
9. See 7.
10. See 8.
11. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely pre-mature product announcement based on over-optimistic
programming schedule, the product is released.
12. Users find 137 new bugs.
13. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be
14. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but
introduce 456 new ones.
15. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
16. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
17. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires programmer to redo program from scratch.
18. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
David Lubar first broke into magazines in 1978. He was caught, but they let
him off with a warning. His latest book is "It's Not a Bug, It's a Feature
-- Computer Wit and Wisdom."